News In Briefs
Being fine upstanding members of society, I’m sure you’re all entirely unaware of The Sun’s “News In Briefs” feature*, in which the Page 3 girl gives her opinion on burning political issue of the day.
Today Amii, 23, from Birmingham, has this to say about the election of Ed Milliband to Labour leader:
“Ed Milliband owes his leadership to the very unions who will destroy this country. As philosopher Herbert Chapman** said, ‘All socialism involves slavery'”
Amii reclines over a wicker sofa, and has her breasts out.
Now, only the very cynical would suggest that these aren’t really Amii’s words, and are instead written for her by a Sun hack. I have no reason to think this – I prefer to believe that The Sun’s page 3 girls are all rabidly right-wing, and able to articulate their crazy views with pith and wit.
Now here comes the embarrassing bit: I was just over by our paper archive and was typing out the page 3 girl’s astute quote on my phone, so I could blog about it. This took me much longer than anticipated, as whenever anyone walked past I felt I had to close the page and pretend I was reading The Times instead. But in the end I realised this would take forever, so just left the page opened and started writing (texting) up the quote.
Then my boss walked past; she was on her way home. “Hi James”, she merrily called, as she walked towards the lifts. Involuntarily, I tried to close the paper. But it was too late, she’d already seen.
So I called her back and explained. I made her look at what Amii, 23, from Birmingham, had to say. And in so doing, I guess I also made her look at what Amii, 23, from Birmingham, has going on chest-wise.
Fortunately she laughed and said it was tweetable.
And here I am.
* Don’t worry, the link isn’t to The Sun, but to an external archive of this feature.
** As Denny points out, Amii seems to have confused 1920s Arsenal football manager Herbert Chapman with actual philosopher Herbert Spencer