News In Briefs

Being fine upstanding members of society, I’m sure you’re all entirely unaware of The Sun’s “News In Briefs” feature*, in which the Page 3 girl gives her opinion on burning political issue of the day.

Today Amii, 23, from Birmingham, has this to say about the election of Ed Milliband to Labour leader:

“Ed Milliband owes his leadership to the very unions who will destroy this country. As philosopher Herbert Chapman** said, ‘All socialism involves slavery'”

Amii reclines over a wicker sofa, and has her breasts out.

Now, only the very cynical would suggest that these aren’t really Amii’s words, and are instead written for her by a Sun hack. I have no reason to think this – I prefer to believe that The Sun’s page 3 girls are all rabidly right-wing, and able to articulate their crazy views with pith and wit.

Now here comes the embarrassing bit: I was just over by our paper archive and was typing out the page 3 girl’s astute quote on my phone, so I could blog about it. This took me much longer than anticipated, as whenever anyone walked past I felt I had to close the page and pretend I was reading The Times instead. But in the end I realised this would take forever, so just left the page opened and started writing (texting) up the quote.

Then my boss walked past; she was on her way home. “Hi James”, she merrily called, as she walked towards the lifts. Involuntarily, I tried to close the paper. But it was too late, she’d already seen.

So I called her back and explained. I made her look at what Amii, 23, from Birmingham, had to say. And in so doing, I guess I also made her look at what Amii, 23, from Birmingham, has going on chest-wise.

Fortunately she laughed and said it was tweetable.

And here I am.

Phew.

* Don’t worry, the link isn’t to The Sun, but to an external archive of this feature.

** As Denny points out, Amii seems to have confused 1920s Arsenal football manager Herbert Chapman with actual philosopher Herbert Spencer

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~ by jamboshoeshine on September 29, 2010.

One Response to “News In Briefs”

  1. Today’s was just as good…

    CHLOE, 22, from Leeds

    CHLOE thinks David Miliband should count himself lucky. She said: “In the Ottoman Empire Sultan Mehmet II introduced judicial royal fratricide. When a new leader ascended to the throne he would jail all his surviving brothers. He would later strangle them.”

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