World Without Borders
The Borders in Islington, like most of the others, is closing down at an unspecified point* in the near future. Borders is fairly shite, with its starbucksii concessions, thousands of books by moronic schlebs and horrendous music policy. But at least it’s still a bookshop rather than, say, a munitions factory. I nipped there during my ‘lunch’ break to see if I could pick up any bargains.
It was full of vultures, children and fat teenagers fresh from the chippie. I realise Christmas it approaching and that tends to lead to heightened shop hysteria, but there’s something about a closing down sale that transforms our already mad consumer fever into total zombie lunacy.
Except with lust for books written by ‘some guy from the mighty boosh’ instead of BRAINS.
I was just as prone to the mania as everyone else. I found myself unbelievably excited to have found an Ordinance Survey map of St Davids and Haverfordwest. I’ve always meant to return to the Pembrokeshire costal path (and see if Haverfordwest’s Wimpy is still going), because I’m that cool. A slave to delusion, my brain said to me: If you buy this map – which has FIFTY PERCENT OFF – then you’ll DEFINITELY go.
That’s how it is with me and travel books. Within ten minutes I had a ‘Europe on a shoestring’ stuffed under my arm, because I’ve been idly thinking about travelling to Greece (by train!), and a couple of guides to either walking or cycling across the country. So that’s at least five holidays I’d automatically committed myself to going on, because I already had the book so it would be a waste of money not to spend, say, £500 on justifying the £9,99 purchase.
Also, I’ve still not adjusted to the fact that I am a working man, rather than a rich layabout from the 1920s who can afford to flee to the continent just to avoid his least favourite aunt.
I came to my senses in the end, and left empty-handed.
Also, on my way out, it occured to me I was supposed to be finding something for a friend’s birthday.
* It could all be a cunning plot to increase sales