Exiled Kimchi Fried Rice
I’ve been in exile from my homeland, New Malden, for a while now. But just as Napoleon was allowed to bring an accordion and a some wild boar sausages with him to St Helena, so I have been able to bring a big jar of kimchi to Islington.
Kimchi is Korea’s – and therefore New Malden’s – national dish. Kimchi is basically pickled vegetable matter: yum! The most common type is baechu, which is spicy, pickled cabbage, and here’s what it looks like if you have a massive jar of it:
Yes, it looks like something from a secret government science facilitiy. I bet internet troofers have an excellent conspiracy theory about kimchi. Maybe it faked the moon landings.
I had the pleasure of opening up the jar, filling the room with its heady aroma, and cutting up a chunk of the stuff. Cutting up baechu is a bit like conducting an alien autopsy.
But it was worth it. We had kimchi fried rice – Morgan’s staple university survival dish (knocking our frozen pizzas into a cocked hat*). The addition of a jaunty fried egg finishes off the whole thing nicely.
According to wikipedia, kimchi is so ubiquitous in Korea that the Korean Aerospace Research Institute developed space kimchi to accompany the first Korean astronaut to the Russian-manned space ship.
So maybe Kimchi really did fake the Moon landings.
* This is a brilliant idiom. Thanks, silly American Revolutionary hats.